Lenten Update

Posted on by Amanda Rice

Happy Easter and Passover to all who were celebrating last week. I myself was in Saint Louis with family for both holidays, appreciating the themes of miracles and mystery.

Over Lent, I took an unannounced sabbatical from The Queerituality Project. The pause was so complete that I didn't even write a blog post about it. Instead, I renewed my commitment to unpublished writing, to my yoga practice, and to my personal spiritual journey. 

Now, after that sabbatical, I am discerning what comes next.

In doing so, I am reflecting on what has come to pass so far. The Queerituality Project began last year at this time with an intense feeling of call. Feeling that urgency, I set immediately putting the project into motion. When I announced my plans to record stories about queerness and spirituality, enthusiasts and potential interviewees came into my life faster than I could respond to them. Something much bigger than me seemed to be moving things along.

That energy swept me onto the road and across 17 or so states. The spiritual practices that had sustained me and brought me to that point did not travel with me. As I plunged into external landscapes and others lives', that guiding energy was replaced by exhaustion. The exhaustion didn't abate when I came home.

Throughout the fall and winter, I struggled to make progress as my energy and faith diminished. Even with opportunities to participate in conferences and film festivals, I felt as barren as the winter landscape, and as weighted down as the snow-covered rooftops.

Finally, I accepted that forward progress meant changing, not pushing through. The first change was to allow myself an opportunity for renewal. That is when the radio went silent.

Spring has arrived now, and with its sunshine I feel the energy coming back into my bones. I feel new shoots sprouting on the project -- offers of help to transcribe, new suggestions of interviewees. I know that collaboration will be critical to any success that this project may have. 

I ask for patience as I continue to explore what calling this work still has on my life, and where it will go from here.